Q: When I am actively seeking God but don’t get any response back, is Jesus ignoring me? Why would He make me feel this hopeless and want to turn away? I feel like I am talking to a wall and I feel stupid.
The Explanation
First: thank you for being honest. It takes real courage to admit this. And here is the most important thing to know up front — almost everyone who has ever followed God has felt exactly what you are feeling right now. You are not doing it wrong. You are just in the middle of the story.
Silence Is Not the Same as Absence
Silence from God does not mean God has left the room. Think about what happens during a big exam. The teacher goes quiet. They are not ignoring you — they are present, watching, and waiting while you work through it. Their silence is not rejection. It is a kind of trust.
Even the greatest people in the Bible cried out in this exact same pain. David wrote: “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, so far from my cries of anguish?” (Psalm 22:1). If you read Psalm 109, you will see David’s raw frustration poured out to God with no polishing. These are not failures of faith. They are faith — the kind that keeps showing up even when nothing feels real.
Jesus even cried out these words from the cross. He knows this feeling from the inside.
Why Does God Sometimes Wait?
If God is good, why not show up right now? Here are a few honest reasons the Bible points to.
Relationship, not transaction. If God answered every prayer instantly like a vending machine, we might love His gifts without ever loving Him. Real relationships have quiet seasons. The silence can strip away a feelings-based faith and build something deeper — a commitment-based faith that holds on even when nothing is felt.
Growth happens in the dark. Think of a seed planted in the ground. If you dig it up every five minutes to check on it, you will kill it. The growth is real even when invisible. What feels like wasted time or silence, God often sees as root-building.
Our senses need tuning. Seeking God’s presence is a little like learning to taste great coffee or finding stars in the night sky. The signal is real, but it is subtle — and our surroundings are noisy. The more we train our attention toward God, especially through His Word, the more we start to hear what was always there (1 Kings 19:12).
Where to Start
God’s presence is nowhere more clearly found than in the Bible. It is a real place to begin — not because reading earns anything, but because God has actually spoken there and His voice is in those words. The Psalms especially are a great companion for this season. They are full of people asking the same questions you are asking.
If sitting and praying feels like talking to a wall, try looking for God in other ways too. A walk outside, a conversation with a friend, serving someone in need — sometimes we find Him most clearly when we stop staring at the silence and look at the world He made and the people He loves.
About the Fear
It is okay to admit that some of what you feel is fear — fear that this will never change, that you will always have doubts, that your questions might mean something is wrong with you. That fear is real and God is not put off by it.
But Jesus speaks directly to it: “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid” (John 14:27).
His peace is not the kind the world offers — the kind that depends on everything going well and all questions being answered. It is a peace that holds even in the middle of doubt and silence. Trust that God is good. He has not abandoned you. He is building something in you that quiet seasons are uniquely good at building.
What Doctrine Says
- God is always present with His people, even when He is not felt. His faithfulness does not depend on our feelings (WCF 17).
- Genuine faith includes seasons of doubt, struggle, and silence. The assurance of salvation can grow weak, but true faith is never entirely lost (WCF 18).
- God uses all things — including hard, quiet seasons — to shape His people and build their trust in Him (WCF 5).
- Prayer is a commanded means of grace. Honest, struggling prayer is still prayer (WCF 21).